


Blueprint Battles - Flirting for Supernerds

by Phandancee74



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Couple Heists, Everybody Lives, M/M, Puns Across Time, everybody wins
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-01
Updated: 2017-09-01
Packaged: 2018-12-22 08:52:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11963970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phandancee74/pseuds/Phandancee74
Summary: Len accidentally puts Barry in a compromising position, but it works out well for both of them several times over.





	Blueprint Battles - Flirting for Supernerds

The first time it happened it was mostly by accident. Len was working with blueprints at the kitchen table for a job he was going to do because he half wanted Barry to speed in after a long night and see them. He wanted his boyfriend to note the insanely difficult place he was going to break into. He wanted Barry to take one look at the security system and tell Len there was no way he could steal anything from there. Then Len would show up a few days later with pictures of the priceless work of art in one of his safe houses and Barry would roll his eyes but also be visibly impressed. It was a fantasy of Len’s to corrupt Barry to the dark side by his sheer brilliance and logistical skills. 

Still, he hadn’t planned to actually leave the prints out, but then Cisco called and said that Barry had been hit pretty hard by a new meta and they were either going to keep him overnight at Star Labs, or Len needed to pick him up. Knowing that Barry hated to keep Cisco or Caitlin overnight at the Lab and neither was going to leave him alone while injured, Len played the good boyfriend and rushed off to pick up his ailing lover. He’d have plenty of time to put away the blueprints when he got back, from the way Cisco told it, Barry was pretty much down for the count. 

Of course by the time he got to Star Labs the meta had come back for another piece of Team Flash, and Captain Cold had to save the day. At that point everyone was tired and they all stayed overnight. 

The next morning Len woke up in his own bed, clearly carried there by Barry at some point after he’d finished recovering. He smelled pancakes. Walking into the kitchen he saw his precious blueprints covered with flour, oil, and bits of egg shell. 

“I love the new table mat, Len.” Barry greeted when he saw where Snart’s eyes were focused.

Leonard Snart took a deep breath to calm himself down before he killed his very handsome, exceedingly kind, and overwhelmingly stupid boyfriend. 

“But you really shouldn’t leave active heist information out where anyone can see it, Dear.”

Len rolled his eyes. “Very funny. For a moment there I thought you had actually dropped to the IQ level of most cops and couldn’t tell the difference between evidence and home decor.”

“I'm sure all our decor will eventually be evidence.”

Len couldn’t really disagree with that statement so he just grabbed a plate of pancakes and set them on his ruined document. He could always get another copy after all, and it was hardly the worst thing that Barry could have done when he found Len’s work laying around.  
______________________________________________________________________

That was what Len thought until two weeks later when he pulled the heist. Everything had gone so well. The Flash hadn’t even shown up until the very last minute. Barry must have thought that Len gave up on the heist after he saw the blueprints. That was what Len was counting on. He wasn’t counting on his obnoxious do-gooder boyfriend being two steps ahead of him and stealing the artwork the day after he found the blueprints. Barry, of course, had returned the painting immediately after Len escaped with its imitation. Silly speedster didn't even realize that you were supposed to keep the things you steal.

“I could have been killed. My reputation could have been ruined!” Len continued his rant while he prepared dinner, boiled vegetables, Barry’s least favorite meal and not high enough in calories for him to be able to avoid eating one of Cisco’s bars. Len didn’t particularly enjoy the meal either but he’d get his satisfaction in Barry's annoyance.

“Of course you could have, if you were a poorer criminal. But then I wouldn’t be with you. I only date high caliber villains.” Barry teased. 

Len glared. “You think you’re so smart.”

“I think you know better than to make me choose between doing the right thing and our relationship, which is what happens when you leave your work lying around.” 

Len sighed, he hadn’t really thought too much about why Barry had done it. He’d been too annoyed that he had to find something else to pass off to his fence last minute, because he couldn’t just tell them that he failed to steal a mark due to an overly heroic boyfriend. “I’m sorry that I put you in that predicament, Kid.”

“Just don’t do it again, Len. Because I love you, but I will keep choosing to stop you unless you can prove to me that what you’re doing is _right_.”

Len smirked. He’d been trying to prove that what he did wasn’t wrong to Barry for months now, though Barry kept telling him there was a difference between 'not wrong' and 'right'. Heroes could be so picky.

“How about a deal, Scarlet?” Len purred.

Barry perked up. Since they’d gotten together anytime that Len offered Barry a deal it had had very positive benefits for both of them.

Barry assumed the most dignified and gallant pose he could think of. “I don’t negotiate with Supervillains.” It helped to take a strong stance at the beginning, Len would never make a deal if Barry didn’t play his part.

“Deal is the wrong term perhaps then.” Len smirked, putting on a coaxing voice. “An arrangement.”

“What do you want, Cold?” Barry tried not to sound intrigued.

“This isn’t about what I want.” Len moved quickly over to the counter Barry was standing by and pulled him into a close embrace. “This is about what you want.”

Barry put a hand on his archenemy’s chest, attempting to look like he was keeping away the fiendish man, though it mostly just looked like he was molesting his boyfriend.“And what would that be?”

“To know that you are righteous and good.”

Barry quirked an eyebrow.

Len went on. “If you find any more pf my plans lying around, I insist you act on the knowledge you gain. It’s my own fault if things fall into the wrong hands. And, if this should ever happen again, I would only add that whoever comes out victorious in the matter in question should be given a small prize for their ingenuity.”

Barry’s face went serious. Len worried for a moment that he had made too light of Barry’s concern but his worry was put to rest when Barry responded. “I’ll agree to your terms, Snart. But I want one more thing in return.”

It was Len’s turn to raise brows.

“I think I deserve a prize this time too.” Barry smiled, and assuming from Len’s chuckle that his terms were acceptable he flipped them around so Len was pushed against the counter and he took his prize.

______________________________________________________________________

 

The second time it happened was a test. Len had been outfoxed once by his beloved, and he wanted to see if it was a mistake or if he was dating a hidden tactical titan. He’d be happy with either, but if it was the latter he _really_ needed to talk Barry over to his side. 

This time Len left the plans on the coffee table. But the plans he left out contained a flaw. They’d been printed the year the building was constructed, and didn’t account for renovations that had occurred after minor flooding necessitated certain entrances and exits be closed off in the basement. Though Barry wouldn’t necessarily need to know these things, what with his phasing abilities, they were crucial for Len and if Barry was assuming Len’s plan from the layout and his knowledge of standard burglary tactics, he should fail. 

They both failed. While Barry didn’t realize that Len would be entering from the roof, unlike his normal “ice-the-front-door-method”, Len didn’t realize there would be an issue with the gallery having carpeted walls. Carpeted walls didn’t react well to freezing. Instead of being able to break the case off the wall everything was a giant frozen mess and eventually Len had to leave the goods where he found them, because the police were on their way and although the Flash was doing nothing to hinder his escape, three minutes of his boyfriend laughing at him and making jokes about Len’s inexperience with what rugs liked, he was dying to get out of there. Barry had been ready to claim his prize when he got off patrol that night but Len was in too much of a snit, and argued very thoroughly that Barry had had nothing to do with the “slight inconvenience” that had “temporarily stopped him”. Four nights later Barry came home to a new welcome mat and respectfully recognized that Len had won this round.

______________________________________________________________________

 

Len didn’t give away plans to all of his heists of course, and never to any that involved other rogues. This was for him and Barry, whenever they could both spare the time. 

After the first two schemes Len decided leaving blueprints on horizontal surfaces was boring. If this was going to be a game between them, then it was going to be a proper one.

Once Barry woke up to his alarm singing the passcode for the vault at the Center City Bank. He’d only had eleven minutes to wake up and get there in costume in time, because, as Len told him later, anytime over thirteen minutes and he’d calculated Barry would most likely win, any time under seven and Barry would still be half asleep. Barry had won that time. Len adjusted his calculations accordingly.

Another time Barry came home to see the ceiling in the bathroom painted in minute detail depicting the security layers present at the home of a prominent, and corrupt, local politician. Apparently those plans had been up for a full day though, and he had just been tired the previous night and never looked up. Len won this round. He also worked to make clues more obvious. The game was much more fun when they both knew they were playing.

Barry had enjoyed the time Len cut up his blueprints and put them on every piece of food in the refrigerator. Though it had only taken him twenty four seconds to correctly assemble the 300 piece puzzle (individual eggs, grapes, and baby carrots), it also helped him notice in time that they were almost out of Len’s favorite milk, and if he’d missed that Barry shuddered to think what the consequences would have been. Len won this round too, but Barry remembered to get Len’s milk and so they both got a reward that time.

______________________________________________________________________

 

Len had been gone for three weeks with the Legends when Barry came home one night to find a letter on the floor. It had a sudoku puzzle on it with select squares highlighted. Once Barry solved the puzzle he had eight numbers written out. 1-1-1-1-2-3-3-9. Barry smiled. Len had been clear that he was taking on the task of saving the world for non altruistic reasons, and now he was sending Barry clues to what he was sure would be one of Len’s greatest heists. It was a criminally romantic declaration that said “I’ll miss you.”

A few days later Barry got a package delivered to Star Labs. This one was clearly too big to fit under the door of his apartment, a location that only Barry, Len, and select rogues even knew about. Only Len had a key. Barry didn’t need keys and they were both too worried that his habit of leaving his clothes anywhere when he rushed off to save the day would come back to haunt them if Barry got any. The delivery location of the package and the lack of freakout from his team confirmed Barry’s suspicion that Len had given Lisa all the clues in advance, and was having her give them to Barry at intervals. 

The package contained a framed image of Pablo Picasso. Barry was unable to gather much from the two clues so far. His only thought was that Len would have to give him a date so that he could run to join him in time to stop the heist. Therefore the eight numbers were likely to be a date. Combining that with the image of Picasso, Barry assumed the date was sometime when Picasso was alive. That still left a bit of a range though. The year could be anytime between 1911 and 1933 and still fit.

Barry didn’t have time to wait 22 years for Len to commit a crime so he waited somewhat impatiently for the next clue. It didn’t matter that he had all the time in the world to catch Len, he missed his boyfriend. It had been almost a month now that he’d had to live alone. Which made Barry wonder. He’d thought that as soon as the Legends stopped Savage they’d return to the moment they left. Barry wondered if Len had planned this heist as a meet up in case anything went wrong. When Barry caught Len in time he was seriously considering his prize would be to kidnap him and bring him back to 2016 to keep him safe. 

______________________________________________________________________

 

The next clue came directly from Lisa. The Flash saw Golden Glider on a semi regular basis now that she was running the rogues, but he didn’t always get there in time to stop their antics. At the scene of their most recent crime Lisa had left a note “for that CSI cutie. He can call me anytime.” Joe had been the first one on the scene luckily and after teasing Barry for a few minutes he handed over the note saying “This one doesn’t go in an evidence bag.”

Barry called Lisa immediately. “What’s up Lise?”

“Does something have to be up for me to catch up with my brother in law?” Lisa liked to refer to Barry that way even though Len had never made any suggestion that he was going to make an honest man out of him.

Barry felt bad. He and Len had had dinner with Lisa almost every week when she was in town before Len left. He’d assumed that Lisa didn’t have any interest in continuing the tradition while Len was gone, but from the only half fake note of hurt in her voice, he realized he was wrong. “Probably. But why don’t I swing by for dinner tonight and if anything is up you can tell me then?”

Lisa laughed. “Alright. I’ll see you at eight. We’re having _Alfredo_.”

______________________________________________________________________

 

Dinner was great. Barry and Lisa got a chance to catch up without any guns involved and Barry got to hear his next clue from Len. _A lot_. He heard it a lot. At first Lisa just kept asking how he liked his Alfredo. Then she started offering to buy him some. When he was getting ready to leave to go out on patrol she straight up handed him a bag filled with jars of Alfredo sauce. 

“Thanks, Lisa. I think I’ve got this one.” 

“I hope so, Cutie. I really want you to get there in time to stop Lenny. You miss him almost as much as I do. We both could really do with having him home.”

It seemed Barry wasn’t the only one nervous about the lack of Legends.That night Barry got home to find several recipes for Alfredo had been shoved under his door. While Barry realized that the overkill was probably suggestive of the fact that the actual clue had nothing to do with the sauce, he was no closer to understanding how it had anything to do with Picasso. 

______________________________________________________________________

 

Barry had enjoyed the reminders that his boyfriend loved him, and wanted him to think of him and be with him, but Len was usually pretty clear about what his heists were. That was the point, that was how their game had started. Barry wanted to be a hero and couldn’t bear to look the other way when obvious crime was going on, even for the person he loved most in the world. But if Barry missed this heist based on the clues it wouldn’t be because he was looking the other way. It would be because he had no idea what Len was stealing, from where, and when. 

That is until he received the final clue. From Gideon. An AI that he would apparently invent someday. Barry rarely went to see Eobard’s old Time Vault, but when a warning sounded that someone or something had broken in Barry rushed down, ready to fight. 

Nothing appeared wrong at first, and Gideon wasn’t responding, but then Barry noticed the newspaper. Instead of the futuristic paper that had unfortunately proclaimed Iris and Barry to be married, a rather awkward and false prediction, there was a very old paper proclaiming “The Mona Lisa Returns!”

Barry was still staring at it when Cisco and Caitlin made their way into the vault. When they saw Barry wasn’t mid battle and that in general he seemed pretty happy they took a moment to catch their breath. 

“Captain Cold. That man is a legend.” Cisco said with a smile.

“Of course he is. We all know he left with the Legends, Cisco.” Caitlin replied.

“No. Lower case l, legend. As in, look at what he’s planning to steal. He just invited Barry on an epic romantic heist. That man is a _legend_.”

“Alfredo! Alfredo Geri!” Caitlin cried out in realization.

Barry spun around instantly catching on that she’d figured something out. “Alfredo?” He asked excitedly.

“Alfredo Geri was the antique dealer who helped catch the thief who stole the Mona Lisa in 1911. They caught the thief in 1913.”

Barry raced over, picked Caitlin up and spun her around. “That makes sense. 1911 and 1913 are both possible dates too. But what about Picasso?”

Caitlin thought for a moment. “Picasso was at one point framed for the theft.”

Barry rolled his eyes. The portrait of Picasso that now hung in his apartment did have a lovely elaborate frame. His boyfriend was punning from across time. “Okay. Good. This all makes sense. Now I just have to figure out which date Len wants to meet up at.”

“To catch a thief you have to think like a thief.” Cisco put forth sagely. 

“And a good thief would never steal anything as worthless as the Mona Lisa in 1911.” Caitlin added thoughtfully. 

“What?” Cisco and Barry replied.“The Mona Lisa was nothing until it was stolen in 1911. Once it went missing it became worldwide news, but no one got to see it again until 1913 when it went on tour before returning to France. Len probably gave you the hint about Geri to get you looking towards the right date, sometime after the discovery.” Caitlin looked back and forth between them. “Don’t you two know anything about the Mona Lisa?”

The two men shook their heads. 

“I didn’t even know that it had been stolen in the past until we saw the paper.” Cisco gestured towards the clue. “I thought this was all Snart’s doing.”

“I only knew because Len likes to list his favorite thefts across time. I probably should have remembered this one, he likes that the criminal only got caught because he was trying to do something good for his country. He says it's a heist with a moral.”

Caitlin rolled her eyes. “Let’s go back up to the core and you can give me those numbers again, Barry. I’ll help you figure out the date for your date.”

An hour later Barry was dressed in his Flash suit with a small friction proof bag full of Caitlin approved era appropriate clothing ready to run around the accelerator until he reached December 31, 1913, when the Mona Lisa was set to finally return to the Louvre. 

______________________________________________________________________

 

“Took you long enough, Kid.” Len didn’t lower the paper he was reading to look at his boyfriend. He didn’t know if the length of time had been the same for both of them, or if there was a future him that Barry got to hold every night, but Len was worried that if he caught sight of the other man now, he’d try to jump him on the train. Something that would be very bad for his plan, and also would probably be considered very scandalous in 1913. 

“I’d have been here faster but some people think that it’s hilarious to send clues in the form of pasta sauce.”

Len chuckled. After taking a further moment to collect himself he lowered the paper. One look at Barry and Len had it right back up, pretending he’d only lowered it to facilitate turning a page. It should be illegal to look that good in these old fashioned suits. 

“I wouldn’t have come if I knew you were busy.” Barry said with a warning tone, threatening to get very annoyed, as he pushed Len’s paper down.

“I’m trying not to _get busy_.” Len said letting a bit of lust slip into his words. He watched as Barry’s eyes went wide and he started to blush. 

Barry found his voice only a moment later. “Right. So what’s the plan?”

“The plan, Scarlet?” Len asked.

“Oh come on Len. You aren’t coincidentally on the train carrying the Mona Lisa back to France. You’re going to steal it now that it’s been seen again. While everyone in the world is interested in it.”

“I was.” Len agreed. “But you’ve already stopped that plan, haven’t you?”

Barry didn’t follow. “I’ve _already_ stopped it?” Had he traveled back again later? Did he fail this time and have to go further back? He wasn’t sure how far he was willing to mess with the time stream just to win this one, but maybe it was critical that he stopped Len.

Len laughed smugly and moved one foot forward so that it briefly caressed Barry’s leg. “Did you think even stealing the Mona Lisa would be sufficient reason to miss out on time with you when I haven’t seen you in three months?”

Barry smiled, forcibly keeping himself from jumping into Len’s lap. “Did you just say that you love me more than _the greatest heist of all time?_ ”

Len rolled his eyes. “If I did, then I probably was only going to say it once.”

Barry laughed. “Of course. A coldhearted man like you can’t be expected to make such statements twice. And you certainly aren’t the type to send gifts to your lover while away, declaring how much you miss them.”

Len chose to ignore him.

“How long is the ride?” Barry continued, “Because I can’t wait much longer to hold you.”

“Patience is a virtue, Flash. Anyway, if you don’t distract me until at least tonight when the Louvre has regained its treasure I’ll still have time to grab it.”

Barry thought for a moment. “So I get to spend the rest of the day with you and then I also get to choose my reward? This _is_ the best heist of all time.” 

______________________________________________________________________

 

In the end Barry and Len had given the Mona Lisa ample time to get home under lock and key before they ever thought of her again. 

“So have you decided what your prize is this time?” Len asked as they cuddled close together.

Barry thought back to some of their conversation on the train while they tried to distract each other from getting too excited, and relayed their adventures apart. Len must have realized he wasn’t present for any of the stories Barry had shared.

“You haven’t come back to our time yet.” Barry said finally. He didn’t want to give too much away but he felt Len had the right to know, definitively. “I don’t think Rip intends you to either. He’s going to return you to a different time. That doesn’t work for me. So I’m going to join you on the rest of this mission. When we’re done, you and I, and anyone else who wants to, is coming back to the day I left from.”

Len thought for a moment. “So you’re staying?”

“Yes.” Barry’s tone was firm. 

“I thought _you_ won this round, Kid. Why do _I_ get the prize?”

**Author's Note:**

> Sometimes I just remember that the Mona Lisa was stolen once.


End file.
